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Jul. 12th, 2006 10:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fics_by_maplePrevious Chapter 2
A/N Harry’s thoughts are in italics.
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The front door to the simple flat magically opened ahead of Harry as he carried Hermione in his arms and walked into the front room. He felt her body stiffen minutes earlier when she regained consciousness, but after a moment she went slack again and lolled her head onto his chest. The door swung shut behind them. He looked about the room and quietly muttered “Lumos”. Several candles throughout the room and down the hall before them set alight.
In the time that followed their Hogwarts days, he and his friends rarely spent the night in the same place twice in row. When they weren’t traveling, they might be at the Burrow, or the Order headquarters, or Lupin’s place or even in the flat above Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. Harry had realized that he was too old to be sneaking around the other adults and into Ginny’s bedroom anymore and he needed a place they could escape to. Ron and Hermione were in the same situation, but as Harry was the only one with means to do something about it at present, he found a small flat to lease and of course gave them each a magical key. None of them lived here properly, but it belonged to Ron, Hermione, Ginny and himself all the same. It already harbored a few greatly needed pleasant memories for them all.
Tonight though, would be different. Their little hideaway was going to harbor a dreadful memory now.
“Here we are now. You’re safe here,” Harry said as gently as he could muster. He had surprised himself in the past at finding the ability to speak with a soft, gentle voice, but that was only with the woman he loved, and that voice was usually reserved for her only. Now here he found himself, talking to one of his best friends, who normally challenged him and made him think twice as fast just to keep up with her. He knew her mind and spirit was at a breaking point right now and he didn’t want to be the one to push her past it.
“Let’s just set you down now, are you ready?” He spoke as if he was talking to a baby who you talk to with all the earnestness of another adult, but you know won’t be speaking back to you. Her knees buckled slightly as he set her to a stand but kept his arm firm around her back and under her arms.
“I’ve got you, its all right, Love,” he coaxed as he steadied her. She had a foggy, pained expression on her face and kept her red and swollen eyes cast to the floor. She was still wrapped in Harry’s black cloak, completely concealing her, as it’s extra length gathered on the floor around her feet.
He cast a glance around the flat. When he had carried her out of Malfoy Manor he knew that this is where he would take her, but now that they were here he didn’t know just what exactly he should do. Harry had a long list of wizards and witches that he knew he could call on for assistance in various circumstances, but this situation was beyond his comprehension. He knew Hermione needed help from someone who could give her gentle care, but who could possibly help her with this?
“Now, er, I can owl Ginny real quick, Okay?” Harry said, “She’ll be here in no time. She’ll know what to do, Hermione.” That’s when he noticed that she had grabbed hold of his shirt. Without looking up at him she furrowed her brow and shook her head and pulled more urgently on his shirtfront.
“Okay, shhh, okay” he acquiesced quickly, giving her a gentle embrace, “I guess, I… I understand, of course. You don’t want anyone else, to know.” A tear streamed down Hermione’s cheek. He felt so inadequate and his mind raced to figure out a way to handle this. He looked hard at his friend’s shamed face. No, all she needed was a friend, and of course, that would be him. He wiped her tear away.
“All right then,” he started bravely, trying to sound confident, “we don’t need anybody else, do we, you and I? We’ll get through this together.” He rubbed the sides of her dangling arms as if to keep her warm.
“Well now, let’s get you washed up, then? That’ll help right?” Harry held her around the shoulders tightly and slowly escorted her down the hall and into the washroom. With a wave of his wand, the overhead lamp flickered to life. He directed her near the bathtub at the far side of the room. He stood facing her and gave her a reassuring smile, though she didn’t return his look.
“I’ll just take this now, okay?” he asked first, as he removed his own, much too long for her cloak. She was clutching the front of her torn dress together with both hands, her knuckles white. He closed his eyes to steady himself and fight off the red rage that coursed through him. The shreds of her dress stained with Ron’s blood made his heart pound and gave him a burn in the back of his throat. Only a few hours earlier she had looked so happy and quite beautiful, playfully teasing Ron. He remembered how it had warmed his heart to see them together, loving life and each other.
“There, now, back up just a little bit, here,” he took her by the elbows and guided her into sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. “I’ll just go make you a cup of that tea you girls like, it’s in the cupboard right? And you go ahead and take a bath and I’ll be right outside here, okay? Hermione?” She didn’t respond, and his nerves were quickly rising. He patted her on the arm before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. Maybe he should get Ginny, or maybe Mrs. Weasley? No, definitely not her. He understood why Hermione didn’t want anyone else to know, for her sake, and for Ron’s. Ron. No, I can’t think of him right now, I have to focus on Hermione.
He quickly set the kettle on to heat and rummaged through the kitchens’ meager cupboard. There was little more aside from Muggle cereal that Ginny liked to eat dry, chocolates, tinned sausages that belonged to Ron, and a package of spiced tea that both girls insisted that had to have to start a Sunday morning with. In another situation the sight of the oddly gathered food items would have elicited a grin and happy memories. Not now though. He prodded the water’s progress along with his wand and prepared the tea. He didn’t know how she strong she liked it, but he supposed it didn’t really matter right now anyway.
Harry shortly returned down the hall with the teacup in hand and knocked quietly on the door.
”Hermione? I haven’t heard the water run yet, are you okay?” He knocked again. There was no answer. He took a deep breath.
“I’m going to open the door now. I’m coming in.” Harry slowly opened the bath door and cautiously peeked inside. Hermione was still sitting just as he had left her, on the edge of the tub, still clutching her tattered dress, staring blankly at the tile floor.
“Oh, Hermione,” Harry sighed, as he entered the room. Merlin help me know what to do. Setting the teacup and his wand on the counter beside the sink, he kneeled down in front of her and looked into her face.
“Well, I guess I can just lend a hand then.” He shuffled over to the tub faucet and began running the water, while plugging the drain stopper. Then he turned back to Hermione. He recognized the expression on her face. He had seen it too many times in recent years. It was the look of someone in shock. He was also accustomed to the feeling of guilt, it had been building inside of him since he first entered the Malfoy’s library and witnessed that awful sight, not an even a hour earlier. He still didn’t know why Ron and Hermione had gone into the house alone, why they hadn’t waited for him, and he didn’t know exactly how things had gone the way they had inside. But now he was left to put the broken pieces back together, two of which were his best friends.
“I’ll just, start with these then, all right?” he pointed hesitantly at her boots. Still on his knees in front of her, he clumsily, but carefully, found the zipper just below and inside her knee and removed her boot, and then removed the sheer stocking that was underneath it. He used just his fingertips in effort to touch her bare leg as little as possible.
“There, that was easy enough, yeah?” Harry was starting to realize that Hermione wasn’t going to respond to him at all. That didn’t really matter to him now. He needed to make up for the haunting silence she created with something, even if it was his own voice. She trembled slightly and hiccupped down a sob that refused to come out, not shifting her blank gaze from the floor next to him.
“Here we go then, I’ll just help you with the other one now,” he said as he unzipped and removed her remaining boot and stocking. “I’ll check the water. Yeah, it feels perfect. I think you’ll be comfortable in it.” Harry winced. What a stupid thing that was to say, nothing about this scenario is the least bit comfortable. He stood and faltered momentarily before continuing.
“Well let’s just, ah, turn you around a bit, here.” He gently pulled her shoulders against him to steady her as he swiveled her body around toward the bathtub. She helped slightly by raising her feet over the edge and into the water. He knew a part of Hermione’s conscience was there, but not all of her, not yet. A part of her was withdrawn deep inside her mind, not ready to deal with reality yet.
“Warm enough?” He received nothing but the expected silence. He was beginning to think he had never felt so alone with another person in his life. His mind continued to battle with rage over what had brought them to this point and stuffed it down for the calm he now needed. Achieving calm was usually a losing battle for him to muster, he’d been building his rage for years, and ‘calm’ was difficult for him. I have to keep it together, for her, and for him.
Harry then sat next to her on the tub’s edge, each facing opposite directions. He leaned back and stopped the water tap. The small bathroom was now filled with a deafening quiet, save for the last few drops splashing into the water. Harry nervously scratched at his forehead and pulled at his collar. He wondered how he could have developed so much magical power by now, and yet still be so awkward? I thought powerful wizards were supposed to be wise as well? He felt like a teenager again. Staring strait ahead he struggled with how exactly to proceed. Maybe a bath was a bad idea after all? He glanced sideways at her. No, it’s necessary, I can smell the Firewhiskey on her skin, and she’s a mess. Damn them all… No, don’t go thinking of that just now.
“Right. Hermione, I reckon we’ve been through a lot over the years and, I’m going to assume you trust me well enough? Yes?” he spoke as softly as he could. Glancing at the front of her dress that she was still holding onto to. There were only two small buttons at her waist that remained intact. “I’m just going to, er, um, un-do these two right here, Okay?” he asked, seeking some semblance of permission before he hesitantly reached over and waved his hand over the front of her two remaining buttons and magically unfastened them. Hermione hiccupped another tearless sob. Harry’s heart was breaking.
He stood up and standing behind her, he gently put his hands on her shoulders and leaned over her and pressed a soft kiss on the top of her head. As reassuringly as he could, he spoke into her ear, “It’s just us here now, Hermione, me and you. We’ve been friends since we were kids. I love you like you’re my sister. You know that right? I know you feel the same way.” He squeezed her shoulders in assurance, and steadied himself.
“I’ll take these off nice and easy, agreed? It’ll be okay, I promise,” and with that he stood upright again and blowing out slowly, he began to peel the dress back off of her shoulders, along with the straps of her torn bra underneath. She resisted for only a moment and then cautiously released her grip on the dress she had been holding closed. Harry cast his eyes to the side, trying to see little of her as he absolutely needed. Letting the dress fall to the floor at his feet he looked up at the ceiling as he took her by the elbows and carefully lifted and settled her into the water. Harry half turned away to let her situate herself and he took another deep breath. This is madness. How can I be doing this?
Hermione sat in the warm water with her knees bent to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs she rested her cheek on one knee, facing the wall away from Harry.
Harry sat back down on the side of the bathtub and finally looked at his friend. As awkward as he felt just before, seeing her like this erased all the childishness of being uncomfortable. It wasn’t just her body that was naked before him now, but her very psyche that had been torn open and was lying exposed in front of him. He realized now, in this moment that her sorrow and hurt transcended any embarrassment either of them could feel. She needed her friend and he wasn’t going to let her down. He simply loved her, just like he loved Ron. It actually wasn’t very complicated at all.
He looked about the room and sought an empty wine goblet on the counter top. He picked it up and scooped some bath water into it.
“I’m just going to help you rinse off a bit, that’s all,” he stated, just in case she was listening. Words seemed hollow and unnecessary at this point.
Hermione was such a beautiful young woman now. He wasn’t blind, he could see that much. But for some reason, he hadn’t developed any attraction for her. Sitting next to her now, he wouldn’t let his eyes focus on what he could see of her body, the outline of round her breasts, the curve of her bottom… Ron was a lucky bloke. To Harry though, Hermione was just a friend, clever, loyal, invaluable to him in so many ways. He knew she became a pretty girl somewhere about the time they were fifteen, he even remembered with a little private embarrassment wanking to thoughts of her once, but as it turned out, thoughts of Hermione didn’t work for him. He shook his head and rolled his eyes at his memory. He could hardly blame himself for the silly things he did as a teenager so long ago.
As he poured cup after cup of water over Hermione’s hair and body, washing away the filth, seen and unseen, Harry’s mind wandered to the wine goblet in his hand. The mate to it was sitting on the countertop, both left there from a night spent with Ginny just a few days earlier, in this very bathtub. He could vividly recall the sweet image of her sitting in front of him nestled into his chest, while he washed her hair and kissed her neck and soft earlobes. The scent of the bubbles and soap was still faint in the room. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting the flowery scent prod his memory of it further. Ginny turned around to face him, and sliding onto his lap. She returned the favor and washed his hair while he enjoyed the view of bubbles dripping off of her breasts. She rocked on top of him to a very satisfying completion right after that. It wasn’t just brilliant sex he was thinking of, but of the connection to his better side, his normal side, that making love with Ginny gave him. When their bodies joined, so did their hearts and minds, and it was a deeper bond than he’d ever known. Perhaps best of all, it had nothing to do with magic, his powers or hers. It was just simply Harry and Ginny, two people sharing their love and receiving acceptance.
Harry shook himself out of his reverie; he was relying on Ginny’s connection in his mind to give him strength.
He saw Hermione’s hand, stained with Ron’s blood. It was dried between her fingers and around the nails. Harry got onto his knees and soaked her soiled hand and rubbed it over and over until the blood was no longer visible. Then he kissed her hand. “I’m so sorry.”
Hermione shivered and goose bumps ran down her back. She quaked again with a silent sob.
“Water getting cold now? Sorry I forgot to put a Warming charm on it.” Should have thought of that, he told himself. “I think it’s time to get you out of here now anyhow.”
He released the plug and the water began to drain. Harry reached for a bath towel where they lay in a large basket on the floor. He shook the towel open and stood while the remains of the water swirled down the drain. Hermione remained in her seated position but began to tremble with cold as she sat nude on the bottom of the empty tub.
“Okay, Hermione,” Harry started gently, “I’m going to need some help now all right?” He wrapped the towel around her back and guided the towel under her arms, “here you go, take it.” She followed his instructions and held the towel in front of her chest. Maybe I’m starting to get through to her? Then setting his hands along her sides he lifted and guided her to a stand
“There we are now, step over the edge, come on.” Hermione stood facing Harry now, and he gave her another reassuring smile, her eyes still looking distantly to the side. For the first time, Harry noticed that her bottom lip was swollen and slightly bruised. He retrieved his wand and ran it over her mouth and the skin returned to normal color. Learning to heal wounds was something he had learned and used many times by now.
He set his wand aside again and unrolled another towel. He laid it over Hermione’s head and squeezed her hair to absorb the moisture. Then settling the towel on her shoulder and used a corner to pat dry her neck and shoulders and then to dry another single tear that escaped her eye. As he tossed the towel to the floor, he noticed another dark discoloration peeking above the towel she was holding around her torso. On top of her left breast, at the swell that curved there, was an unmistakably a bite mark and bruising was surrounding it. Harry clenched his jaw and fought down his anger and the bile rising in the back of his throat again. He did his best keep his face neutral. He couldn’t help but think of Ron. He could only imagine what he was suffering right now. Stay focused on Hermione, that’s what Ron wanted. He rubbed a hand over his face and mouth to keep control of his expression. He took another deep breath as he picked up his wand again, and ran it over her wounded breast, with a neutral expression. Then he felt really thick and horrified when another thought finally occurred to him.
“Hermione,” he questioned carefully, troubled by the response he would get, “are you hurt, uh, other places, as well?” He wasn’t sure if he would get an acknowledgement from her, but he already knew the answer anyway. Why didn’t I think of it before? She did acknowledge his question though. Her eye’s flickered from their fixed gaze and her bottom lip quivered, and Hermione ever so slightly nodded her head. Harry closed his eyes, and though he tried, he knew he failed at trying to maintain a composed expression. He chewed his bottom lip for just a moment and then completed what he needed to do.
“It’s all right,” was all he said, and with great care he steadily pulled open the towel she was clutching, willing himself to see as little as he possibly could, he circled his wand in the air in front of the junction between her legs, healing the wounds he knew were there. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about Ron yet. He then closed her towel and put his wand into his back pocket.
Two more large teardrops rolled down Hermione’s blushing cheeks and she hiccupped once more, but stifled her cry and embarrassment. Harry clutched her shoulders and pulled her into a brotherly embrace and kissed the side of her wet head.
“I’m sorry, Hermione, but don’t think on it” he told her urgently. “Let’s go find you something to wear.”
He guided her back down the hall, with his head still bent to hers, to the room that Ron and Hermione shared when they were there. Harry had actually hardly ever been in this room. He knew it was their private space in the world, just like he had with Ginny down the hall. Harry settled Hermione on the edge of the bed and went to the small chest of drawers to look for some clothes. The top drawer contained a few of Hermione’s undergarments and two nightgowns. Everything was folded neatly, even the knickers he thought, such a very Hermione thing to do, it didn’t really surprise him. Neither of the nightgowns was right though, one was a dark pink satiny fabric that he imagined Ron rather enjoyed on her, and the other was white with tiny happy yellow flowers on it and thin little shoulder straps. No, certainly not appropriate.
The next drawer had some of Ron’s things, some spare socks, underwear and t-shirts. All these were folded neatly too, which of course also would have been Hermione’s doing. He took out a plain gray t-shirt from Ron’s drawer. Harry even remembered this one. It had been in Ron’s assortment of clothes since at least fifth year. It was worn and thin and looked very comfortable. He even remembered wearing it himself a time or two. Yes, he could put Hermione in this.
He crossed back to her on the bed and slipped the t-shirt over her head and down her shoulders. “I thought you might like this one,” he said plainly. Under the shirt, she released the towel and put her arms through the overly large sleeves.
Her gaze focused on the fabric and she stroked it softly. Her breath hitched and her shoulders heaved and she let out a cry, meeting Harry’s eyes for the first time.
“Oh Harry, where is Ron? You’ve got to find him, he must be so, so…” she stammered, “and he’s hurt too.”
“Shhh – no, no, he’s going to be okay,” he comforted, taking her head in his hands, and giving her a reassuring smile, do I even believe what I’m saying? “I’ll look after Ron later, I promise. Right now, we just take care of you okay?”
Hermione looked desperate, thoughts clearly running through her now. She grasped at his forearms in earnest, “He tried Harry, he really did!” she pressed, and her eyes overflowed with tears, “You would have been proud of him. I saw it in his eyes, he was there, fighting the Imperius as best he could.”
“I know he did, Hermione, I know.” He embraced her again, and rocked her gently.
“I’m sorry we didn’t wait for you,” she continued, “we thought we’d missed you and that you had gone in alone, and, and then,” her sobs halting her words, “Draco wasn’t alone, there were so many, and, and I, it’s all my fault!”
“No, none of it is your fault!” he countered, finally starting to get a grasp for what had happened earlier, feeling his old companion guilt creeping into his conscience. Bugger, they were there because of me!
“We fought and Ron was doing so well, really he was.” she closed her eyes shaking her head, “Draco wouldn’t have had the chance to curse him if he hadn’t been distracted by me. I’m so sorry.”
Harry continued to rock her gently. “You have nothing to apologize for.” He looked into her face to coax some understanding out of her. “What happened wasn’t your fault, all right? You did nothing wrong.” Hermione sniffed and quieted herself.
“Come lay down and rest, Hermione, come here” he pulled back the bed covers for her and patted the head of the bed for her to come lay down. She stood, and with the hem of Ron’s t-shirt falling nearly to her knees, she crawled into the place Harry indicated. This was Ron’s side of the bed when he was there with her. She nestled her head onto his pillow smelling for some trace of Ron’s scent. Tears fell steadily down her cheeks while Harry covered her with the blankets. He looked at the empty chair nearby and made to sit in it.
“Harry?” Hermione said quietly, raising herself up slightly, “will you? Would you mind?” her voice dropped to a whisper, “lay here with me?”
Harry nodded and gave her slight smile.
He went around to the other side of the bed, sat down and removed his shoes. Then he hoisted himself back onto the bed next to Hermione. Ron’s bed. Ron’s girlfriend, he should be here with her. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before replacing them. Sighing and running his hands through his hair, Harry rolled onto his side behind Hermione, she under the covers and him above them. He put his arm protectively over her and gave her a squeeze. She trembled and sniffed again.
“I wish he was here,” she said in a whisper.
“I know, so do I.” I wish Ginny were here too.
He held her like that for hours as the night passed. Holding her quietly while she cried, until she fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning. Harry stayed true to his promise to Ron. He watched over her, and took care of her as best as he knew how.
~^~^~^ Continue to Chapter 4
I hope this started to make you feel better about the last chapter! I really appreciate you taking the time to review.
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wow!
Date: 2006-10-08 02:40 pm (UTC)Re: wow!
Date: 2006-10-08 04:37 pm (UTC)This was one of my earliest writings. I cringe to look back on it, but the overall storyline I'm still proud of.
This Harry/Hermione chapter was one of my favorite moments, I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! ... or you know, as much as you can enjoy this sort of thing. ;)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-03 12:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-10 10:29 pm (UTC)I think people get intrigued because of the sexual overtones present throughout this, that people think I'll get 'shippy' with it, but I really just wanted to show their genuine friendship and nothing more. And even though this only depicts Harry and Hermione, 'we' are thinking about Ron the whole time.
I've gotten a real pleasure from your comments. Thank you!
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Date: 2007-02-21 10:30 pm (UTC)Wow.
Date: 2007-11-28 05:50 am (UTC)melakem
Re: Wow.
Date: 2007-11-28 03:06 pm (UTC)Oh, that, right there, was possibly the best thing anyone has ever said to me about my writing! *clings to you*
I appreciate you reading this. It's an earlier piece and not very polished, and the whole thing was really written to show the Harry-Hermione friendship in this chapter.
Thank you, so much!
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Date: 2007-12-15 05:27 pm (UTC)That was really well done.
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Date: 2007-12-17 01:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-27 08:53 pm (UTC)though i wished some acutal soap was involved in the cleaning there, harry, but the awkwardness was understood.